Life as it now stands...
For the last two plus years, I have been acting as full-time care-giver for my folks. Mom has Alzheimer's and Dad has Parkinson's. To say that life is challenging is a gross understatement!
I did step into this agreement willingly. Mostly because I know that it is mine to do. I am a healer/care-giver by nature and by trade (massage therapist for several decades) so moving to this level of care-giving seemed natural.
What I did not expect was how emotionally draining the experience would be. I find that I'm tired to new levels. My emotions run the gamut throughout the day and often my temper is short and ugly. It seems that everything is a challenge, even getting up to start the day. I used to be an early riser and now 7AM seems like pre-dawn. My mind won't stop ruminating. Even if it's things I know I cannot change or 'fix', I mentally gnaw on them like a dog with a bone. I inherited my worrying honestly; Dad is a worrier and Mom is a fretter so I had great examples and lots of training :)
The living situation is a bit unusual here. I moved them from SoCal to KS, Dad bought a house here and we all live together with my dearest friend Anna and her husband. The five of us humans share space with my two cats. Anna is the full-time informal care-giver for my mom and it really helps to have another person sharing the responsibilities.
We still have a house in SoCal that hasn't sold, the looming threat of full-time care for both parents is creeping a bit faster toward me than I like, I'm trying to work two part-time jobs to make ends meet financially while giving as much care to both parents as I possibly can and seeking a bit of time off so I retain my sanity as long as possible.
We laugh around here as much as we can. Playing games (cards and dice) and going out shopping as often as possible to break up the hosebound tendencies. Mom goes to Adult Daycare twice a week (and right now hates the going) which is good for the rest of us. Dad has gotten slower and slower in his abilities to get around and if left to his own devices, won't even get dressed until after 11AM.
Weeks are sometimes filled with medical appointments. Those are the hard weeks. I do my best to get mom to her sister's for a visit every couple of weeks. There isn't much for socialization for them but we do have a potluck sinner here on Sundays every couple of weeks. As mom is an extraordinary musician, we have a quaterly 'sing-a-long' here and that always a hoot! Church is an essentila part of their life and so we attend regularly. Finding a new church 'home' since they moved here was an interesting experinece and I should probably post seperately about that one day...
Well, I hear the morning stirrings and must put on my chef's hat (more like a short order cook) and care-giver cape so I can leap tall buildings in a single bound...
I did step into this agreement willingly. Mostly because I know that it is mine to do. I am a healer/care-giver by nature and by trade (massage therapist for several decades) so moving to this level of care-giving seemed natural.
What I did not expect was how emotionally draining the experience would be. I find that I'm tired to new levels. My emotions run the gamut throughout the day and often my temper is short and ugly. It seems that everything is a challenge, even getting up to start the day. I used to be an early riser and now 7AM seems like pre-dawn. My mind won't stop ruminating. Even if it's things I know I cannot change or 'fix', I mentally gnaw on them like a dog with a bone. I inherited my worrying honestly; Dad is a worrier and Mom is a fretter so I had great examples and lots of training :)
The living situation is a bit unusual here. I moved them from SoCal to KS, Dad bought a house here and we all live together with my dearest friend Anna and her husband. The five of us humans share space with my two cats. Anna is the full-time informal care-giver for my mom and it really helps to have another person sharing the responsibilities.
We still have a house in SoCal that hasn't sold, the looming threat of full-time care for both parents is creeping a bit faster toward me than I like, I'm trying to work two part-time jobs to make ends meet financially while giving as much care to both parents as I possibly can and seeking a bit of time off so I retain my sanity as long as possible.
We laugh around here as much as we can. Playing games (cards and dice) and going out shopping as often as possible to break up the hosebound tendencies. Mom goes to Adult Daycare twice a week (and right now hates the going) which is good for the rest of us. Dad has gotten slower and slower in his abilities to get around and if left to his own devices, won't even get dressed until after 11AM.
Weeks are sometimes filled with medical appointments. Those are the hard weeks. I do my best to get mom to her sister's for a visit every couple of weeks. There isn't much for socialization for them but we do have a potluck sinner here on Sundays every couple of weeks. As mom is an extraordinary musician, we have a quaterly 'sing-a-long' here and that always a hoot! Church is an essentila part of their life and so we attend regularly. Finding a new church 'home' since they moved here was an interesting experinece and I should probably post seperately about that one day...
Well, I hear the morning stirrings and must put on my chef's hat (more like a short order cook) and care-giver cape so I can leap tall buildings in a single bound...
Labels: Parent journey
posted by starwyse at 5:22 AM
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