Tax day, anger and the Urologist...
This post will happen, I'm sure, in a couple of installments. That's how the days go and the time on the computer is always interrupted :)
Today is April 15th the infamous day of taxes due if you live in the US. The folks filed and have received their federal refund and state refund is on the way. I mailed m personal taxes yesterday and still have 4 or 5 years to catch up on...oy! However, it is happening on step, sometimes a baby step at a time. Don't let anyone tell you that the precess of divorce and financial recovery after combining debts is easy or painless. It's not!
So on to other things...
Dad's got a second appointment with the Urologist today. I don't know if he's stressed about it but he has had quite a bit of confusion about the requirements for this visit. He is to go with a full a bladder as he can and that is causing him grave concern. I couldn't figure it out until I discovered, quite by accident, that he is wearing his incontinence garments during the day now and not only at night. I know he asked about wearing one to church last Sunday as he was "leaking a bit throughout the day". I had not realized until yesterday that he was no longer getting any waring before his bladder released. That's such a difficult thing to deal with. I've tried to explain to him that the doctor won't fault him for not having a full bladder but I think m words are falling on deaf ears...
Once he gets in and the test begins I'm hoping to have enough time to take mom to the ENT and drop off one of her hearing aids for repair. That can take upwards of 10 days (oh gods will that be a challenge) but having it repaired for about $250 after we accidentally washed it is a miracle. They are old, old technology and with her Alzheimer's making a change is no longer a preferred option.
We are noticing mom responding to any thing other than staying at home with dad with immediate anger. And not only anger but borderline rage. I find that I am puzzled by it only when I forget how she was raised. My generation has become the self-growth gurus of these times. We area ll about expressing yourself and your feelings and finding healthy ways to communicate. I don't know that all of us are good at it or even if the process is altogether healthy but I do know that repression of feelings, especially anger is frowned upon.
My mother, however, was raised in a time where anger was frowned upon, ezpecially anger in girls. Even I grew up under the '50's strictures of "being a good girl". Combine that with the church dogma of what it means to be chirstian and turning the other cheek, ec. and you have a woman who kept all 'unacceptable' ffeelings in check and that leaves a pressure cooker of anger waiting to erupt. Combine that with Alzheimer's and voila! mom's instant anger response.
Now I'm off to help dad dress so we are on time to the Urologist...
Today is April 15th the infamous day of taxes due if you live in the US. The folks filed and have received their federal refund and state refund is on the way. I mailed m personal taxes yesterday and still have 4 or 5 years to catch up on...oy! However, it is happening on step, sometimes a baby step at a time. Don't let anyone tell you that the precess of divorce and financial recovery after combining debts is easy or painless. It's not!
So on to other things...
Dad's got a second appointment with the Urologist today. I don't know if he's stressed about it but he has had quite a bit of confusion about the requirements for this visit. He is to go with a full a bladder as he can and that is causing him grave concern. I couldn't figure it out until I discovered, quite by accident, that he is wearing his incontinence garments during the day now and not only at night. I know he asked about wearing one to church last Sunday as he was "leaking a bit throughout the day". I had not realized until yesterday that he was no longer getting any waring before his bladder released. That's such a difficult thing to deal with. I've tried to explain to him that the doctor won't fault him for not having a full bladder but I think m words are falling on deaf ears...
Once he gets in and the test begins I'm hoping to have enough time to take mom to the ENT and drop off one of her hearing aids for repair. That can take upwards of 10 days (oh gods will that be a challenge) but having it repaired for about $250 after we accidentally washed it is a miracle. They are old, old technology and with her Alzheimer's making a change is no longer a preferred option.
We are noticing mom responding to any thing other than staying at home with dad with immediate anger. And not only anger but borderline rage. I find that I am puzzled by it only when I forget how she was raised. My generation has become the self-growth gurus of these times. We area ll about expressing yourself and your feelings and finding healthy ways to communicate. I don't know that all of us are good at it or even if the process is altogether healthy but I do know that repression of feelings, especially anger is frowned upon.
My mother, however, was raised in a time where anger was frowned upon, ezpecially anger in girls. Even I grew up under the '50's strictures of "being a good girl". Combine that with the church dogma of what it means to be chirstian and turning the other cheek, ec. and you have a woman who kept all 'unacceptable' ffeelings in check and that leaves a pressure cooker of anger waiting to erupt. Combine that with Alzheimer's and voila! mom's instant anger response.
Now I'm off to help dad dress so we are on time to the Urologist...
posted by starwyse at 7:14 AM
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