Back from the urologist

and the verdict is that dad has a VERY angry bladder (my words were 'pissed off' [made the doc chuckle]) and the recommended course of action is hyperbaric oxygen therapy. I'm not a hundred percent sure I know what that means.

Sheesh, parent care sure makes me learn at the steepest curve there is.

Tax day, anger and the Urologist...

This post will happen, I'm sure, in a couple of installments. That's how the days go and the time on the computer is always interrupted :)

Today is April 15th the infamous day of taxes due if you live in the US. The folks filed and have received their federal refund and state refund is on the way. I mailed m personal taxes yesterday and still have 4 or 5 years to catch up on...oy! However, it is happening on step, sometimes a baby step at a time. Don't let anyone tell you that the precess of divorce and financial recovery after combining debts is easy or painless. It's not!

So on to other things...

Dad's got a second appointment with the Urologist today. I don't know if he's stressed about it but he has had quite a bit of confusion about the requirements for this visit. He is to go with a full a bladder as he can and that is causing him grave concern. I couldn't figure it out until I discovered, quite by accident, that he is wearing his incontinence garments during the day now and not only at night. I know he asked about wearing one to church last Sunday as he was "leaking a bit throughout the day". I had not realized until yesterday that he was no longer getting any waring before his bladder released. That's such a difficult thing to deal with. I've tried to explain to him that the doctor won't fault him for not having a full bladder but I think m words are falling on deaf ears...

Once he gets in and the test begins I'm hoping to have enough time to take mom to the ENT and drop off one of her hearing aids for repair. That can take upwards of 10 days (oh gods will that be a challenge) but having it repaired for about $250 after we accidentally washed it is a miracle. They are old, old technology and with her Alzheimer's making a change is no longer a preferred option.

We are noticing mom responding to any thing other than staying at home with dad with immediate anger. And not only anger but borderline rage. I find that I am puzzled by it only when I forget how she was raised. My generation has become the self-growth gurus of these times. We area ll about expressing yourself and your feelings and finding healthy ways to communicate. I don't know that all of us are good at it or even if the process is altogether healthy but I do know that repression of feelings, especially anger is frowned upon.

My mother, however, was raised in a time where anger was frowned upon, ezpecially anger in girls. Even I grew up under the '50's strictures of "being a good girl". Combine that with the church dogma of what it means to be chirstian and turning the other cheek, ec. and you have a woman who kept all 'unacceptable' ffeelings in check and that leaves a pressure cooker of anger waiting to erupt. Combine that with Alzheimer's and voila! mom's instant anger response.

Now I'm off to help dad dress so we are on time to the Urologist...

This interesting thing called time...

It certainly seems to fly by at the exact moments I would wish it would crawl.

The last two weeks or so have certainly been a flurry of activity and changes. My sis arrived from Germany for a visit on April 3rd and it has been a good visit for all of us! She currently has taken the folks out to a movie and I'm hoping hey are enjoying themselves thoroughly :)

We've been noticing the last few weeks the mom's move to anger has certainly increased from occasionally to immediate. We seemed to have completely by-passed 'often' or it was just a blip on the radar that all of us missed. Everything is triggering her anger. If she's told "no" for any reason, there is anger; if we get in the car to go somewhere, there is anger and a full battery of questions and a metric ton of resistance to doing anything even the fun things. I have become a symbol of taking her to places and to things she doesn't like and therefore I am slipping into the role of 'bad guy'. No fun, but there it is.

Day care is a horrible experience for her and one she resists vehemently; temper on the ride there and disgust at having been there "all day" when we pick her up. We have some recommendations for other day care places from the Alzheimer's Association that we will look into next week to see if there is a place better suited to her needs that will also meet our needs. Of course, I have so much time to do this *sarcasm*

I feel like I've not had my full allotted time off lately and that's not altogether true it's just a reaction to the weight of responsibility and the concerns of my heart/mind. I've been filling out the paperwork for VA assistance for both folks and that's a huge project in and of itself. Still haven't heard from the SSA about my application for Representative Payee status for Mom. Stopped the auto deposits to the accounts in SoCal so we can close those accounts in May and I will hopefully be hadling money through only one bank! It reduces the accounts I have to balance from 6 to 4, give me only one bank instead of two and that will ease some pressure off me. There have been Dr. appointments, we need to decide about mom's hearing aid repair (the cost mostly), I've got to make dad an appointment for another visit to the pain clinic for possible sacroilitis, etc., etc., etc. New drug for mom for bone loss, increase in her Zoloft for her emotional balance, a caution about her high suger diet and the increase in HDL levels - blah, blah, blah.

It's all just gibberish in my head when I get to my saturation point. And then I panic a bit because I feel the pressure of not enough time to get it all done...wash, rinse, repeat.

I know I'm doing this graciously and effectively and well even. It's just that my feelings don't often cooperate with my mental knowings --

pain clinic on the phone, more the next time I get back here :)